Life

Using the sex trade isn’t infidelity in Japan!?: Why are you unfaithful?

modern bathroom interior with bathtub against toilet bowl

Why do people have affairs? The reasons are very different from person to person. Some people enjoy it as a game, others do it out of sadness. But is it cheating to go into the sex trade? I’m going to ask Japanese people directly.

Friend B
Gender: Male
Age:20′
Hobby: Studying languages

マグロのイラスト(魚)
Me

Hi B! Thank you for joining me today for this interview.

白衣を着た人のイラスト(男性・笑う)
B

You are welcome. You deal with a very interesting subject. Ask me what you want.

マグロのイラスト(魚)
Me

So let me ask you honestly, have you ever had an affair?

白衣を着た人のイラスト(男性・疑問)
B

No. Oh, but wait. What is the definition of infidelity?

マグロのイラスト(魚)
Me

Well… many foreigners think that physical contact is a deception.

白衣を着た人のイラスト(男性・悩む)
B

Does that mean that using a sex service is cheating? I once went to a sex club in a foreign country when I had my girlfriend, does that count as cheating? I didn’t think it was infidelity.

マグロのイラスト(魚)
Me

So for you the definition of an infidelity is not whether there is physical contact or not?

白衣を着た人のイラスト(男性・悩む)
B

Yes, I agree. I think flirting with a woman to have a physical relationship with her is cheating. On the other hand, if you want to play with a prostitute, you don’t have to make any effort to seduce her, you just pay her. It’s like a massage, I think. It’s like watching porn videos, isn’t it?

マグロのイラスト(魚)
Me

I understand, it’s a very interesting opinion.

Point 1: Fuzoku isn’t prostitution.

In Japan there are various types of sexual services including some platonic ones. These services are generically called “Fuzoku”.

Normally in western countries there are only services with physical contact. So, now I will explain you what they do in these stores in a rare country, Japan.

Kyabakura

Kyabakura is a service where you can talk to a female employee while having a drink. Basically, there is no sex service. Rather, it is a place where you can simulate a platonic romantic relationship through conversation. A venue that also offers sexual services is called a “sexual cabaret” (short for “Sexy Kyabakura”). On the other hand, a service for female customers is called “Host Club”.

Delivery Health

Delivery Health (Deriheru for short) is a type of sexual service in which a woman goes to a hotel where a man is staying and provides him with sexual services. However, due to Japanese laws against prostitution, it is forbidden to engage in actual sex. In other words, prostitutes do not perform the service with their sexual organ.

Soapland

It is a sexual service in the form of a SPA. It used to be called Turkish Bath, but the Turkish government got furious and renamed it. For some reason, despite the law against prostitution, real sex (i.e. real sex) is not allowed in Soapland. The stores are licensed by the government, with the excuse that “it is a normal SPA, but it turns out that the staff and the customer have a loving relationship every day.”

So, for some reason, there are jobs in Japan that do not involve sexual services, and this is a source of confusion for foreigners. Some wives think that since there are no sexual services, it’s okay to go to a Kyabakura, while other women, like B, think that soupland is like a massage. Many wives are also indignant, of course.

Can’t forgive your girlfriend’s infidelity?

マグロのイラスト(魚)
Me

Well, I want to ask what you think about your girlfriend’s act. You use sexual services, and it’s not infidelity for you, so if your girlfriend does it like you do, you’re fine, right?

白衣を着た人のイラスト(男性・泣く)
B

Hmmm… really, I understand that I am saying something very unreasonable, but I don’t want women to use it. And actually this act is not right, but men can’t hold their carnal desire compared to women… I think so.

マグロのイラスト(魚)
Me

Hmmm it’s a very complicated feeling… OK, it’s the last question. How many percent of your friends are unfaithful because of your perspective?

白衣を着た人のイラスト(男性・悩む)
B

Maybe…It’s 20%?

Is having love for your lover more culpable than sexual contact?

The main topic of the interview was whether the use of sexual services is cheating or not. However, I felt that I could feel the value that love for another person is more guilty than a physical relationship, and I wondered if Japanese people consider so, Westerners cannot understand it.

I also found that the variety of sexual services in Japan is much greater than in Europe. It is very interesting to see why this is so.

However, we still need more samples. To get a better idea of what the Japanese really think, we need to do more research.

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