I am a huge fan of HelloTalk because I can learn English with natives.
However I heard that foreign users cannot continue to speak with Japanese people on this app. So today I want to explain the 3 reasons why Japanese people stop keeping in touch with you.
He understood that he can’t hook up with you
When I googled “HelloTalk”, the results were similar to these ones; “How did I have a white boyfriend on HelloTalk” or “The perfect ways to hook up with foreign girls”. Well, those people consider HelloTalk as a kind of “Linguistic Tinder”. So if he/she is aware of that he/she can’t hook up with you, he/she stops talking with you.
If the relationship starts very naturally and the love develops between two people, it’s no problem. But being “Hentai” just causes a bad reputation of your country among foreign men and women.
You broke a taboo
In Japanese culture group harmony is so important, so they decide to bear rather than argue. If you are going to debate/talk about a very controversial subject with Japanese people, probably Japanese people will change the subject or they will run away from you.
The political and religious subjects are taboo in other countries as well. However the majority of Japanese people want to stay away from all type of controversial subjects. That’s why you have to talk superficially while you are with them. However it might cause experiencing stress.
In this situation the solution is alcohol. When Japanese people drink alcohol, they become outspoken and speak out loud.
The eruption stage of Japanese people occurred
When the time comes that Japanese people can no longer endure, they erupt. I call it as “The point of the eruption”. If you are in this situation with a Japanese, the relationship does not return back to normal, as if the shape of a mountain changed perfectly due to the eruption.
You know, how to speak with the Japanese is very difficult for the foreigners who don’t know Japanese culture. Actually when I argued with a Spanish person, I was surprised because I was able to make peace with him. In the Japanese adult dictionary there is no word “Make peace”. If the fight happens, the options are only two; I hit you or you hit me.
I am a controversial person compared to the average Japanese because I learned about European culture by studying the Spanish language. I can survive in Japan because I know the limits of Japanese anger. However this limit is almost invisible to foreigners. So you should not enter the dangerous zone. If you enter, the volcano erupts and you have to evacuate that place.
The solution to understand the Japanese
Now you want to know how you can learn Japanese culture without suffering from sudden anger, so I teach you two ways.
Step on a mine for many times
To be honest, it’s a very brave way. When you talk to the Japanese, you deal with many subjects until the Japanese erupt. So if they get angry about a topic, you can understand that this topic is a taboo. It is very easy to do, right?
However, this effort causes you a lot of psychological damage. Then you should look for the Japanese who like debating.
Go to the places where you can find Japanese people who love debating
Young people who study in good universities tend to like debating, so if you want to know Japanese culture you should go to famous universities.
In the real case, some foreigners who studied in some Japanese universities are saying that the correspondence of Japanese students is very different depending on the level of school. For example, if you go to an intermediate-level educational center, the Japanese look at you and say “Ahhh, there is white!”. But this phenomenon does not happen much in the University of Tokyo. Because there is a correlation between the level of the university and the income of student’s family. The family of a good university student is relatively rich and this family can give their children international experience. So these students are not so afraid of another culture, and they want to know more.
If you are going to talk to the Japanese people not as a tourist, they are very difficult to understand. If you can enter Japanese society, it is very comfortable for you too. I hope you can enter Japan as a new member of this society.
Proofreading by Megumisan